Fagin’s Boy – Revised Content

I recently determined that I would continue what I’d started in Fagin’s Boy and write a series. The story of Oliver and Jack was still resonating in my head, and the characters kept telling me that they had more to say, more adventures to have, more of a relationship to build. So how to do that?

Sending out Fagin’s Boy to a beta reader was the first step, to see how I could determine that the story could support a series being built from it. I inquired after several editors as to what their beta read fee was, and got a few responses; most were very busy during the pre-Christmas season, some weren’t interested in beta-ing a book with adult themes (or however you say it), and many didn’t answer. I understand, actually, as the book clocked in at 171,000 words. That’s a huge commitment, to read something that long.

But I got lucky, and managed to get a “yes, I can do that” from an editor. I paid her the beta read fee up front, and she went away and read it, and soon gave me the kind of feedback that I was looking for. That is, she didn’t look at spelling errors and copyedit stuff, she looked at the overall story and gave me feedback on that. She sent a seven-page document with feedback and questions, and then we engaged, via email, in a conversation about it. I was floored, frankly, with her responsiveness.

And then, after that conversation, it came down to the crux of my novel’s problem, and that was pacing. The first part of the book goes too slowly (all that slow build kind of writing that I enjoy myself) and the second part of the book goes fairly quickly. And that would be fine, normally, but as my editor and I agreed, the second part of the book is where Oliver and Jack’s relationship develops, and I should take more time with it. The critical question that we asked each other was, “Why does Oliver kiss Jack in the first place?”

So I set out to answer that question. From about mid-October to mid-December, I revised it. I fixed all the typos that Wendy and I could find. I found the pain-points for pacing and tightened those, refocused them to forward the relationship between the boys. I condensed lengthy scenes in the first half of the novel, and added to the relationship-developing scenes in the second half of the novel. The story is the same, with the same characters, the same events, the same foul weather that I find is requisite for a novel set in London in the year 1846. Wendy, who is a very careful reader, let me know that she couldn’t see where the changes were, but that the story, overall, was better, more tightly written.

When I got it back from my editor after she proofread it, this is what she had to say:

“Here you go. The first project I finished in 2015! I think it’s all pretty clear, but look out for a few notes I left you in double brackets. You did a lot of revisions…I was surprised.  It hangs together nicely, and I hope my fixes are helpful. Jack and Oliver do seem more of a  solid couple as  they cross that bridge.”

Phew! Boy, was I glad to hear that, because it meant that the book was now of the kind I wanted it to be, a good story, a good read, something detailed and consistent, with a happy ending for Oliver and Jack.

Except I’m writing a series, you see, because Oliver and Jack can only be left happy for so long. But luck was still with me; when my editor offered to be my editor for the sequel and whatever comes after that, I accepted without hesitation.

I’m somewhat loath to share her with the world as I want to keep her to myself. But I’m an indie writer who likes to pay it forward, so here you go. Her prices are reasonable, her turn-around time is excellent, and her attention to detail is top-notch.

You can visit her blog, or go directly to her editing services website.

Here’s a sneak peek at the new cover!